


All These Years

by QuarkInShiningArmour



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, I mean first proper kiss that isn't a robot, IN SPACE!, Philinda - Freeform, Philinda Secret Santa, like a paragraph of angst and the rest is fluff, mentions of Bahrain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-29
Updated: 2018-01-29
Packaged: 2019-03-11 02:22:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13514721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuarkInShiningArmour/pseuds/QuarkInShiningArmour
Summary: As Phil and May make their way away from Earth in a stolen shuttle, they appreciate the view and reflect on memories (some funny, some horrible).  Phil POV for the future segments and May’s POV for flashbacks.My first fic so I hope you enjoy!





	All These Years

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the Philinda secret Santa for @studiocapsicum on tumblr.

Shining trails of stardust raced behind them as they drifted towards the Earth, the streams of light chasing after the asteroids from which they came.

_Asteroids? Or comets?_ Phil wondered. _Or are they meteors?_ He knew that if Fitz or Simmons were here, they’re would be able to tell him in a heartbeat. But they weren’t with them any more, it was just him and May, flying down in a shuttle to try and make it to Earth.

“It really is beautiful,” Phil breathed, tracing the trails with his eyes. Behind him, May raised an eyebrow as she piloted the craft. “I mean, beautiful for a post-apocalyptic future at least.”

May smiled to herself, finding it sweet that Phil would find something beautiful in all of this.

* * *

 

_Many years ago..._

* * *

 

Agents Coulson’s lips were softer than she thought they would be. Only a few days ago, May hadn’t really had much of an opinion of Coulson. She’d worked with quite a few new recruits, fresh out of the Communications Academy, self-assured men who were sure that they had what it took to become the next James Bond, but who crumbled under the first sign of stress in the field.

Coulson was different. He was kind of nerdy. He seemed in awe of the history of SHIELD. He was softer, kinder than she had imagined. _I wish more spies realised that being a nice person isn’t a flaw,_ she thought to herself. It wasn’t a weakness for him, he used his sensitivity in his work, and showed his steel when it was needed.

And right now, he was _certainly_ making use of his sensitivity. They were undercover as Mr and Mrs Dennis O’Shaughnessy, newlyweds who were very much in love, and used every possible opportunity to show it. Agents May and Coulson were making the most of two much-used laws of spying: (a) No-one will think that you’re a spy if you have a silly name and (b) if two people are being affectionate, people will be too embarrassed to look at you.

Coulson had gone along with the plan, had said that it was a good strategy, but every time May brushed her hand over his shoulder or wiped some desert from the side of his mouth, he blushed and looked painfully nervous. _It’s like he’s worried I’ll turn at any moment and attack,_ May thought.

And now they were kissing. Rather enthusiastically, at least on May’s part. Coulson was doing his best to keep up. He was doing his best to be gentle, respectful, and as sweet as May thought that was, she knew that they needed to convince any camera’s watching they that they were, in fact, newlyweds.

His hand was lightly resting on her shoulder. All whilst kissing, she took his hand in hers and led it behind her back, hoping he’d get the message ( _undo my bra!_ ) that she was trying to convey.

He seemed to have gotten the message. He was now fumbling with the clasp of her bra, but did not seem to be making any progress.

Minutes passed. At one point, May thought Coulson had almost got it, he managed to undo two of the three hooks on the clasp, but after a minute or so he somehow managed to hook them _back_ in place.

_It’s a good thing that he’s cute,_ thought May. Otherwise, she might have thought to write up in their report that he wasn’t fully committed to their mission.

He seemed to be enjoying kissing her. His lips tenderly moulded to hers. As she kissed him hard, tried to make it as fierce as possible, playing the role of an impassioned newlywed, he slowed them down, set the pace slower, less urgent.

May was sure she must be reading too much into the kiss. He was a nervous new agent from communications; he wasn’t used to her operations, be-prepared-to-go-all-the-way approach.

Click-WOOSH

Coulson had (finally) managed to successfully unhook her bra.

And now, predictably, he was too shy (or perhaps too courteous) to actually touch her now-freed breasts.

May tried to encourage him, tried to move his hands with hers but as she did, she brushed past his underarm, tickling him. He jumped back immediately, involuntarily giggling. May wanted to give him her best death-stare, give him a look that would force his head back in the game and onto the mission but in truth she found his laughter rather infectious. She gave him her best lovey-dovey smile and started to draw him back in for a kiss. Just as their lips were about to touch, her ear-wire crackled, airing their signal to move and surround their targets.

Only half an hour later, they had apprehended the illegal arms dealers. May piloted the craft back to base with a smile and the taste of Phil’s kisses still on her lips.

* * *

Back in the future...

* * *

May clicked the shuttle into autopilot. She left her seat, taking a step towards the window, towards Phil. He turned as he heard her steps.

“What are you doing?” Phil asked.

“The shuttle’s on autopilot. I thought I’d have at the ‘beautiful’ view,” “No, I meant what are doing standing up? Your leg’s still not healed, you need to get all the rest you can. Come here.” He walked to sit on at seat in the middle of the shuttle, and motioned her to do the same.

“I’m fine,” May insisted.

“You always say that, but I can see you’re holding your shoulders stiff. You look tense.” May gave him a pointed look.

“Don’t they say that I always look tense?” she replied.

“Scary, I think, is the word that most people would use.” She sat down. “But really, May, how is your leg?”

Phil hoped that she knew that she could be honest around him, that she would know she didn’t just have to grit her teeth and say “I’m fine”.

“I’m alright, it’s…” She gave him a serious look. “It will get better soon.”

“Okay, May, so long as you’re sure”

* * *

_Many years ago..._

* * *

After Bahrain, May found it too difficult to talk to Andrew. It didn’t feel like it would get any better it didn’t feel like she could make any progress. Every time she wanted to talk about what happened there, she remembered the little girl, Katya, and how in that moment her hopes of a future family were dashed. Every time she tried to talk about her feelings, she felt as though she was Andrew’s client rather than Andrew’s wife.

A month after her last field mission, Phil came to her little division of the office she worked in. He tried to talk to her, tell her that she should take whatever time she needed to heal, but that he hoped she wouldn’t be out of the field forever. Phil said how he hoped that she knew that she could talk to him, confide in him, if she ever felt that she needed it.

Much to her own surprise, May found that she _could_ confide in him, _could_ talk to Phil about how she felt. He had been there so she didn’t need to explain what happened. She could just talk to him about how she felt, what she’d lost, and know that he would at least partly understand.

“It wasn’t just that I couldn’t save her, Phil,” she said. “I killed her.”

When May cried, there weren’t any sobs, just silent tears sliding by her cheeks.

* * *

Back in the future...

* * *

He wide, arched window of the craft meant that the view of space engulfed them. The landscape, a vast darkness dappled with stars, was a terrifying as it was breath-taking.

“It is beautiful,” May quietly agreed. “I’m, well, I’m glad that there’s _something_ in all of this,” – she gestured to the stars – “all of this sadness, something that makes you happy, makes it a little worthwhile.”

Phil turned to look at May.

“It’s not the view that makes it worth it. It’s you.” May smiled in response.

“I know, you’re always looking out for the team. I know how much you care about all of us. It’s -“

“No, May, I don’t mean the team. I mean, I do care about everyone, I do want Fitzsimmons to be happy, and for Mack and Elena to be free from this whole sci-fi horror movie scenario. And Daisy, I just think Daisy deserves a break from all of this, but that’s not what makes it worth it. It’s you, May.” He spoke with a level of emotion May wasn’t accustomed to, looking straight into her eyes.

“When I first got to know you, you were fierce and kind and didn’t take any crap from anyone, you never have. And I’ll be honest, after Bahrain, I was worried that I’d lost you, that I’d never have you by my side in the field again. Asking you to join us on the bus, that was the best decision I ever made.” He gently brushed her cheek with his real hand, and May was sure she’s never felt a sweeter touch. "All these years, all these memories, there was you. You pulled me through time."

It was May who lent forward, closing the gap between them and claiming his lips. Phil felt relief, relief that May finally, _finally_ knew how he felt and that she felt the same for him. May’s kisses were soft and passionate, full of emotion that she had kept bottled-up and didn’t always know how to express.

Phil ran his fingers through her hair and deepened the kiss. At every point where their skin touched he felt excitement, more excitement than anyone had ever made him feel before. _Why did we wait this long?_ Phil wondered. But as Melinda wrapped her arms around him and pulled them together, any coherent thoughts fled Phil’s brain. The feel of her body against his was a reassurance, an intense feeling that even if they were forced apart in the future, they were together now, and it felt more right than anything ever had in Phil’s life.

May’s hands drew up to his shoulders, her thumbs pulling on the collar of his jacket and she pulled back.

“Phil, I know I’m not…” her eyes darted down, “I’m not good with telling people how I feel but…” she finally met his eyes. “I love you, Phil, I have love you for –“ She tried to think of a unit of time, tried to pinpoint how long she’d loved Phil Coulson but her feelings had grown so slowly, so softly that she couldn’t remember when they started. May shook her head slightly, not knowing how to finish her sentence.

“I love you, Melinda, I don’t know how long but, at some point I realised that you are everything to me.”

It was Phil’s turn to start their kiss, pulling them together and letting himself get lost in her.

_The wait was worth it,_ Phil thought. _She is worth all of that time._


End file.
